“You’re not a priest, are you?”

She tugged at the waist of her tight pants. “I know you want to see me naked!” she teased.

She advertised herself as “Southern Comfort.” She moved to New York from down South to attend school. She hosted from a basement apartment near Greenwich Village. When we spoke on the phone, she asked me to see her earlier because she had to study. With her dark mop of hair, she looked a bit disheveled. She struck me as a little flaky. She rapidly stripped off her clothes. I followed suit, then nervously lay down on the bed. She crawled on top of me.

“You’re not a priest, are you?”

Startled, I told her I was a volunteer minister at a Lutheran parish.

“You seem like a priest — so nervous and shy.”

She said she had gotten to know a couple of priests, including a couple at St. Patrick’s Cathedral — “know” as in the biblical sense. She had been the covert girlfriend of one for a short time. “They’re just guys,” she said – implying that guys just need to get laid. She had converted to Catholicism against her family’s wishes a few years earlier. She had a devotion to Mary. She showed me a holy card blessed by Pope John Paul II.

“I don’t agree with the Church on sex, though,” she said. She even contemplated becoming a nun, but couldn’t take vows: “I like to fuck too much!”

“Do Lutherans have to be celibate?”

I told her we don’t.

“Good!”

I kissed her tentatively.

“Let me show you how to kiss a girl,” she said. She gave me a wet kiss, thrusting her tongue inside my mouth. We continued to make out.

We had been together over an hour. “I must really like you.” Then she pleaded, “Will you be my boyfriend?” She said I resembled an old flame who had dumped her.

Finally it was time. I lay on top of her. She helped guide me inside her. She squealed with delight as we fucked.

We recollected ourselves. She asked me to call her just to hang out. “I don’t have many friends,” she said. She had some pot we could smoke. I promised I would call her again. Then I headed out into the city night.

I never did call her.