“You’re a good size,” Stephanie told me. After all, she had just intimately encountered it.
(I recall another escort telling me, “You have what every girl wants: a great cock!”)
I would describe my member as decidedly average. No man wants to be subpar in that department. So what is so significant about that part of the anatomy?
“The phallus is the source of life and libido, the creator and worker of miracles, and as such it was worshipped everywhere.”
Carl Jung
Rhonda knelt before me, the proper posture for worship. She faced my naked, erect penis. After a tantalizing glance into my eyes, she focused on my phallus. She believed a man’s cock was the embodiment of the divine masculine. My masculine power was on full display. She held my cock in her hands, absorbing my masculine energy. “I love how hard your cock is,” she whispered. Slowly, sensually, she suckled my lingam, beholden to its power. She was a priestess offering oblation with her lips, mouth and tongue.
This was cock worship.
D.H. Lawrence wrote:
But in a true man, the penis has a life of its own, and is the second man within the man. It is prior to the personality. And the personality must yield before the priority and the mysterious root-knowledge of the penis, or the phallus. For this is the difference between the two: the penis is a mere member of the physiological body. But the phallus, in the old sense, has roots, the deepest roots of all, in the soul and the greater consciousness of man, and it is through the phallic roots that inspiration enters the soul.
For Lawrence, the phallus is emblematic of a precognitive state, “blood-consciousness,” in which man is ruled not by his intellect but by the chthonic depth of nature. Here the animal emerges. An erection occurs only when a man abandons the “upper centres” of the mind and yields to passion. Virility is the connection to the primal force. The phallus engaged in ecstatic sexual experience is the instrument through which this connection is forged to our most authentic selves and we achieve “fullness of being.”
In Hindu Shaivism, the phallus is the object of cultic worship. In the Indian city of Rishikesh, there is a temple dedicated to Shiva. The temple consists of a small room, in the middle of which is a three-foot high phallic symbol. In Sanskrit, the word for phallus is lingam, which means “sign.” Alain Daniélou writes:
The lingam, or phallus, the source of life, is the form by which the Absolute Being, from whom the world is issued, can be evoked. . . . In the microcosm, which is to say in man, the sexual organ, the source of life, is the form in which the nature of the formless manifests itself.
In Shaivism and for Lawrence, the phallus is our connection to the life force itself. “The penis is therefore the organ through which a link is established between man . . . and the creative force which is the nature of the divine,” writes Daniélou. Constance Chatterley in Lawrence’s John Thomas and Lady Jane says, “I know the penis is the most godly part of a man. . . . I know it is the penis which connects us with the stars and the sea and everything. It is the penis which touches the planets, and makes us feel their special light.” The phallus has a dual role, Daniélou writes:
the inferior one of procreation and the superior one of contacting the divine state by means of the ecstasy caused by pleasure (ànanda). The orgasm is a ‘divine sensation.’ So whereas paternity attaches man to the things of the earth, the ecstasy of pleasure can reveal divine reality to him, leading him to detachment and spiritual realization.
Orgasm, for both Lawrence and Shaivism, is a religious experience in which the self is transcended and we become reabsorbed, if only momentarily, into the life mystery, to “the stars and the sea and everything.” This is made possible by the phallus.
Personally, I have difficulty integrating my mind and my body. I live mostly in my head. My phallus, engorged with blood, seeking to unite with the feminine, is the antithesis to my intellectualism. Lawrence wrote, “I believe in the phallic consciousness, as against the irritable cerebral consciousness we’re afflicted with.” My cock doesn’t think; it fucks. It’s completely irrational, disconnected from reflective thought. Cogito ergo sum? No. Coito ergo sum.
My penis defines me as a man. It is the conduit for my dark masculine energy, my animalistic desire to dominate. My hard-on exhibits my primal masculine power. It isn’t politically correct. The female body is receptive, designed to be penetrated. A woman literally opens herself to the male. She is fucked. The phallus, in opposition to female passivity, is raw power. The phallus fucks. For a male, feminist Andrea Dworkin observed, “fucking is the essential sexual experience of power and potency and possession,” with “the penis itself signifying power.”
“In the end, my cock was all I had.”
Michel Houellebecq, Soumission
Lutheran Guilt 