For I do not understand my own actions (Rom 7:15).
This morning I did some pastoral counseling. Despite my academic bent, I derive deep satisfaction from providing spiritual direction. As best I can, I try to allow some divine light to shine on our broken world. I hope the person I counseled derived some comfort and hope from it.
I walked through the rain to a nearby hipster coffee shop afterwards to review Tillich’s Theology and Culture. It didn’t hold my attention for long. Tall and blonde, her overcoat couldn’t hide her figure. Her shapely legs promised unholy delights. Peeking at her comeliness, I got rock hard. The admonition to not lust in my heart came to mind, and I felt a twinge of shame. Yet my arousal only intensified. In the past, The Conflict would elicit “fighter verses” and taking thoughts captive. But I’ve wearied of the battle.
The tall blonde exited the coffee shop. The mind of this priapic gentleman continued to plumb the erotic depths. I knew Sarah was in town. I had received her e-mail last week: “Take a First Class Flight! Sexy Redhead Busty Flight Attendant in Town.” My schedule had precluded making an appointment. Or so I thought. I tracked down her e-mail and replied with a brief missive inquiring if she could accommodate a last minute booking. Within minutes she responded. She was available this evening. I had agreed to assist some Catholic colleagues with a seminar at a nearby parish. Lust will not be denied, however. I excused myself from my commitment and made a date with Sarah.
I knocked on the door of her hotel suite. The anticipation was electric. Adorned in a red dress and white pearls, she ushered me in. A tight hug followed. A brief conversation ensued. Much of Sarah’s appeal comes from her Sunday school teacher mien. She looks like she should be hosting the next PTA meeting. Tonight she told me that she discretely hosts sex parties at her suburban home.
Her body pressed against mine. My hands gently clasped the hem of her dress. I slowly lifted it up. Undressing a woman is so erotic. It’s as if I’m removing Eve’s loincloths and returning us to Eden. Then it was time to unleash those 38DDDs. With a naughty glint in her eye, she took off her bra.
Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times (Prov 5:19).
I buried my head in those magnificent mammaries. My mouth found its way to her hard nipple, and I began to suckle. She ran her hands through my hair. A day that had started with me providing spiritual succor had descended into this.
My throbbing flesh was between her legs. She tightly wrapped herself around my hips. Each thrust provoked a breathy moan. The Book of Wisdom in the Apocraphya tells us that the “perishable body weighs down the soul” (9:15). As Sarah’s warm, fleshy body embraced mine, my mind was far removed from matters of the soul. The carnal sacrifice of our bodies was all we could offer.
Lutheran Guilt 