Anne looked absolutely delectable in her white dress this morning. Her black high heels accentuated her shapely legs. Lustful glances stirred illicit desires. This evening I masturbated to her Facebook photos.
While the topic of sexuality hasn’t come up in the meetings of the young adults group I have attended, Anne is from a Wesleyan Holiness background which expects “celibacy within singleness.” (The conservative college she attended lists premarital sex as grounds for “separation from the university.”) Yet ἐπιθυμία is not so easily tamed. A professor of endocrinology at Oxford, noting the dictates of procreative biology, says simply, “I’d regard celibacy as a totally abnormal state.” I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind (Rom 7:23).
Despite my pastoral commitments, I do not have a talent for celibacy. Burdened by a desire to fornicate with Anne, I struggle to refrain from acting inappropriately with her.
Then there’s Sally. She’s relatively new to the church’s young adults group. I imagined sliding my hand up her skirt, sliding her panties to the side, and slipping my finger inside her. I imagined her wetness, her cries of pleasure as she comes. I nevertheless behaved like a gentleman around her.
Perhaps I can find some photos of Sally on Facebook….
Lutheran Guilt 