As the lockdown in our region has loosened, I’ve resumed visiting escorts. The risk of contracting, and spreading, the virus makes me hesitate. But….
The ultimate aim of eros is thanatos.
Richard Kearney
I browsed the agency’s site and noticed that “Lexi” was visiting. I booked an appointment, prepared myself, and drove to the hotel across the bridge. Once I arrived, I was texted her room number. Behind the door was a tanned, athletic spinner with dirty blond hair. She very much looked like that hot girl in tight shorts you see running on the side of the road. She also vaguely resembled an attractive classmate of mine I wouldn’t have minded nailing. A Midwestern “girl next door,” she talked a bit about her rescue dogs and the Packers. I eagerly anticipated her shedding her pink lingerie. Then she leaned in for a deep kiss….
It was a blur of flesh. Thrusts and groans. A sheen of sweat on my skin. My breathing was heavy. My limbs tensed. My grip on her hips tightened. My body began to spasm. It’s as if I started to dissolve. The logic of the flesh led to an evanescent self-annihilation.
La petite mort.
We have all experienced how the greatest pleasure attainable by us, that of the sexual act, is associated with a momentary extinction.
Sigmund Freud, Beyond the Pleasure Principle
Lutheran Guilt 