All Hallows’ Eve

For Lutherans, October 31 is Reformation Day. There is also a certain secular celebration that night….

An establishment popular with students at the divinity school is having a Playboy-themed Halloween party this weekend. The waitresses will accordingly be dressed like Playboy bunnies.

Despite the enticing theme, my aversion to crowded environments may deter me from attending. Despite some promising new candidates (“Jenna” with her buxom appearance is particularly tempting), my prospects for hooking up are limited. Such encounters are generally lubricated with alcohol, and, except an occasional glass of wine, I generally don’t drink. A certain shyness also inhibits me from making a move at social events. The hookups I’ve experienced have mostly been initiated by my female partners.

Still….

A hookup would not be unwelcome this All Hallows’ Eve. The holiday has become attached to promiscuity. Espying the nubile coeds in their slutty costumes will certainly trigger my carnal instincts.

“The zipless fuck,” wrote Erica Jong in 1973, “is the purest thing there is.” It is sex at its most nihilistic. Devoid of romantic attachment or procreative intent, its only pursuit is hedonic ecstasy. Intimacy is an obstacle to orgasmic fulfillment. “For the true ultimate zipless A-1 fuck, it was necessary that you never got to know the man very well.” Even the hookups I’ve had have entailed a degree of acquaintance. The thought of spontaneously fucking one of those scantily costumed college girls without even getting to know her name is a fantasy of mine.