A local nondenominational church has opened a coffeehouse/bookstore near my residence. It serves a nice vanilla latte and sells a copy of the ESV Bible with Creeds and Confessions. It provides a pleasant setting to do some writing.
The comely barista is a distraction, however. She engaged me in a brief conversation. She’s a student at a local college and a worshipper at the church that operates the coffee shop. Her blond hair and noticeable bosom were appealing. As I settled in front of my laptop, my eyes were repeatedly diverted by her presence. I imagined peeling off her blouse and capris pants and exploring her nubile body.
One of the books I browsed was a book researching why young Christians leave the church. Familiar complaints from those who had departed included a wariness of ecclesiastical authority and the supposed conflict between science and religion.
And sex.
Perceived sexual repression is a major catalyst for exiting the church. One young Catholic said, “No one leaves the church because of the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception. They leave for pelvic reasons.”
Sociologist Mark Regnerus described young Christians as being caught in a “clash of cultures”: the “pleasure ethic” and sexual freedom extolled by secular culture collides with the conservative sexual ethic demanded by most churches. The book labels this ethic “sexual traditionalism,” which restricts the range of sexual expression and clouds it in shame. Many young Christians, according to the research, still believe in the tenets of sexual traditionalism. The crisis of faith comes when their behavior can no longer comport to this standard. One young man who was interviewed was a worship leader at his church while he indulged his obsession with pornography and engaged in numerous hookups. He said, “I just literally led a double life, between church and sex.”
As I write this, my eye still catches the figure of the barista. Unlike the days of my innocent youth in which I affirmed the verities of the purity culture, I know the pleasures her body could produce. Another law waged war in my members against my mind (cf. Rom 7:23), which made me ripe for sexual exploration. The moment I knew sin, I fucked.
As a means of combating this trend, the author advocates a more “relational” approach to sexuality which replaces a rigid adherence to rules in guiding sexual conduct. Perhaps. I’ve personally experienced sexuality as a driving, relentless force that obliterates deeply held beliefs. There’s nothing like the sight of a naked woman awaiting you in the bed she shares with her husband to weaken one’s adherence to the Sixth Commandment. The substance of sexual traditionalism, not just its presentation, has come into doubt.
Meanwhile, I continue to lust after that barista.
Lutheran Guilt 