Holy Whore

The first cool, crisp day of autumn. With the start of fall I’ve returned to the classroom to teach a class at a nearby seminary. Pumpkin spice season also brings with it an increased number of ministerial activities at the parish. (I almost singlehandedly oversaw Sunday’s Ministry Fair.) Despite my many obligations, I had arranged a tryst with “Jennifer,” a curvaceous platinum blonde visiting from the Bay Area. I made the considerable drive to her suburban hotel anticipating an erotic diversion.

When the door opened to her hotel room, I was not disappointed. A Marilyn-esque figure greeted me in a black robe with bedroom eyes. In a soft voice, she invited me in. After our initial greetings, I excused myself to the bathroom to freshen up and place the donation on the counter. When I reemerged, she invited me to sit across from her in a chair. Her robe was loosely tied; I distinctly noticed her breasts bulging over her lacy black bra.

She immediately asked me about my studies and work in ministry. She then volunteered that she participates in Bible study and is active in her church. She wasn’t the first escort I’ve encountered who professed a religious commitment. During one early encounter, the lady invited me to a revival. On Katherine’s nightstand a bottle of Holy Water sat next to a bottle of Astroglide. My last visit with Audrey included a brief discussion on biblical hermeneutics. I once glanced into the purse of another companion and saw a Bible along with a picture of the Sacred Heart.

As she sat seductively across from me, Jennifer spoke admiringly of my work in the church. She discussed her prayer life, and while her theology didn’t appear to go any deeper than a Joel Osteen sermon, her faith seemed sincere. Yet as we talked, my eyes kept returning to her breasts – her D cups runneth over. My erection grew even firmer. Then she became very flirtatious.

“What do you want to do, my darling?”

I placed my hand on her upper thigh, feeling the silky fabric of her robe. She took my hand, rose from her chair, and led me to the bed. She untied her robe, allowing it to drop to the carpet. Then she released her big breasts from her bra. Lust had already taken over me. I started to disrobe in turn. She slipped her panties off. I pulled down my boxer briefs. She caressed my balls, then then ran her fingers across that sensitive area just beneath my scrotum. She positioned herself on her knees. Her warm, wet mouth was sucking my cock. I gently held her head, her blond hair wrapped between my fingers. Her pretty and attentive face peered up at me, her red lips smeared with spit and precum.

She got up, and we moved onto the bed. She applied a condom. She lay on her back and eased her legs apart. With a slight moan, I slipped myself inside her. As I moved slowly at first, she raised her hips and wrapped her legs around me. I felt her nails dig into my shoulders. The bed rocked and creaked beneath us. I could feel her pussy tighten around my shaft as I pumped faster and harder. The more she cried out the more I wanted to drive my cock deep inside her. I groaned as my body shuddered, and I felt myself spurt into the condom.

She got up and retrieved a washcloth from the bathroom to clean me up. We conversed for a few minutes, mostly about topics that came up in her Bible study. We then abruptly transitioned to kissing and caressing one another. My erection swiftly returned. She moved on top of me, positioning her breasts in my face. I sucked on her nipples, moving from her right nipple to her left and back again. It was time for another condom. She straddled me, guiding my cock into her. My hands squeezed her waist as she vigorously rode me, her tits bouncing up and down. But I wanted more. I had her position herself on her hands and knees, her ass in the air. As I marveled at her curvy bottom, my thoughts were decidedly unholy. I moved behind her, grabbed her hips, penetrated her, and started to slowly and steadily pump into her. The slapping sound of our bodies smacking against each other mingled with our animalistic grunts. With increasingly faster thrusts I fucked her; a bead of sweat trickled down the side of my face. My cock started to twitch. My body shuddered as I grunted my orgasm.

We disengaged, and I lay on the bed, spent from my exertions. We resumed our conversation until we noticed that our allotted time was nearing its end. She allowed me to take a shower to wash off the evidence of our engagement. I briskly dressed afterward. She planted a gentle kiss on my cheek. Then I departed for the long drive home.

After the Revolution

Sex and the City‘s Samantha captured the ethos of a certain brand of sex-positive feminism when she candidly declared that she liked to “fuck like a man.” In her new book The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, British writer Louise Perry denies such a thing is possible. Her thesis sounds like something one would expect from a conservative evangelical parachurch ministry. Perry’s argument, however, is a feminist polemic against sex-positive feminism.

In an era when BDSM societies populate some colleges campuses, it is certainly countercultural to argue against sex-positivity. Perry stands athwart the tide of sexual liberation and inveighs, “It’s time for a sexual counter-revolution.” That’s because it turns out the beneficiaries of the sexual revolution have been lusty men unfettered from female restraint. Hugh Hefner was its avatar. Rebelling against the religious puritanism of his Midwestern upbringing, Hefner launched Playboy in 1953 with Marilyn Monroe on its cover. With the zeal of a convert, he preached the gospel of sexual freedom, bedding an endless number of blond twenty-somethings along the way. (At the Playboy Mansion, an elderly Hefner would recline on his bed while being mounted by a succession of girls who encouraged him with chants of “Fuck her daddy!”) Playboy‘s advocacy for access to contraception and abortion rights seemed purposely designed to shield men from any consequences from their sexual profligacy.

Rejecting the plasticity of postmodern sexual identity, Perry speaks of the “hard limits imposed by biology.” Siding with nature over nurture, she argues that there are intrinsic differences between men and women which influence their sexual desires. Women, who prior to contraceptives risked pregnancy with any sexual encounter, prefer relationships that offer commitment and intimacy. (Women are much less likely to reach orgasm during casual sex and more prone to “catch feelings.”) Men, impelled by the biological imperative to spread their seed, can more easily disengage from their partners. Hookup culture, facilitated by apps like Tinder, rewards male promiscuity. (One male user brags, “You could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”)

Perry takes issue with “consent” as the only ethical criterion sexual liberals use to adjudicate the appropriateness of any sexual activity. She “prioritises virtue over desire.” Some desires are undesirable, and our moral intuition should play a role in evaluating them. Few sex-positive feminists, she contends, are “willing to draw the link between the culture of sexual hedonism they promote and anxieties over campus rape.” Indeed, the sexual milieu of young women in the early 21st century is presented as one of unrelieved misery, with patriarchal sexism tarted up as empowering sex-positivity. The revelations of the #MeToo movement bely the notion behind the old Virginia Slims slogan: “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby.” Perry bemoans the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon as female concession to male aggression. Pornography both reflects male sexual desire and refracts it. Porn depicts rough emotionless sex featuring acts (such as anal sex) that appeal to male aggression. In porn, Perry writes, “women are shown begging men for painful or degrading sex acts.” She’s not surprised when women acquiesce to such practices in their private lives.

Taking her cue from Max Weber, Perry writes of a “sexual disenchantment” born of the sexual revolution, which is the notion that “sex has no intrinsic specialness, that it is not innately different from any other kind of social interaction.” In late capitalism, sex is commodified. Prostitution is recast as “sex work.” In this barren wasteland, she seeks to establish a more substantial sexual ethic than that of mere consent: “We should aspire to love and mutuality in all of our sexual relationships.”

Although Perry’s perspective is entirely secular, her tropes resemble those I encountered coming of age in the purity culture. The predatory male libido threatens female virtue. Porn is inherently degrading. Sex is imbued with an intrinsic meaning that can’t be reduced to mere physicality and finds its true purpose within the context of a committed relationship (namely marriage). Her conservatism is shared by those “icky” religious fundamentalists she would otherwise not choose to associate with.

“A truly feminist project,” Perry writes “would demand that…it should be men, not women, who adjust their sexual appetites.” If male sexual aggression is largely biologically determined, as she suggests elsewhere in her book, that may be a fool’s errand. Take the aggression depicted in porn. Its brutishness unleashes latent desires that sexual purity codes strove (with varying levels of success) to rein in or rechannel. “Far from poisoning the mind, pornography shows the deepest truth about sexuality, stripped of romantic veneer,” wrote Camille Paglia. When I’m watching a rough porn scene, I’m stirred at a primal level. The “love and mutuality” Perry seeks is nowhere to be found. Speaking as a male who has furtively taken advantage of the opportunities afforded by the sexual revolution, I suspect there’s little appetite for a counterrevolution among men.