It’s been awhile….
During the considerable interlude since I last updated this blog, I’ve been occupied with teaching and ministry. It’s been a blur of papers and Bible studies, classes and programs. Lent and Holy Week came and went. Christmas arrived sooner than expected. Then there was another Lent and Holy Week. Progress on my dissertation remains halting. The start of another academic year means the arrival on campus of ripe flesh – coeds in sundresses, short skirts, and skimpy tank tops.
And amidst everything, I’ve chastely dated one young lady, fucked another young woman from the church, discreetly met with a self-described “good Christian wife” for adulterous sex, pursued hookups with a variety of women, while continuing to visit escorts.
It’s been busy.
Its abbot was a monk who was saintly in every way except when it came to women – and he managed those affairs so cunningly that almost no one knew about them, or even suspected anything.
Decameron, Third Day – Novel VIII
I’m painfully conscious of how often I fall short in my ministry. A word left unspoken. An initiative unfulfilled. A “ministry of presence” seems hollow. Parishioners tend to place those in ministry on a pedestal, expecting sinlessness. “But I am carnal” (Rom 7:14).
There was a young monk whose youthful vigour no fasts or vigils had been able to mortify…. As soon as he saw her, he was seized with carnal desire…. He, overcome by passion, was frisking with her rather incautiously….
Decameron, First Day – Novel IV
To be constantly tempted with this fruit, so luscious yet so forbidden, is excruciating. Yet as journalist Julia Keller observes, “Sex and subterfuge make a delicious cocktail.” Guilt is leaven by the possibilities of erotic delight.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.
1 John 1:18
A new parishioner. She’s in her late forties with long chestnut hair. Despite her fresh-faced, girl-next-door appearance, her hourglass curves reveal her erotic potential. I haven’t spoken to her, but I can taste her and smell her and feel her. I can already imagine the noises she makes when she comes.
She’s the edge between the sacred and profane
Rainbow Kitten Surprise, “Polite Company”
And means at least one other language you would never speak in polite company
Lutheran Guilt 