Let me ask you something, gentlemen.
What is it that gives a schoolgirl her special innocence?
Her sweet fragrance? Fresh flowers? Light as a spring rain?…
Or is it her firm young flesh inviting your every caress, enticing you to…
explore her deepest and most private secrets.
Well gentlemen, I’m gonna let you decide that one for yourselves.
The DJ in Exotica (1994)
She was in front of me in line at the coffee shop. Her long red hair was tied in a ponytail. The words "NOTRE DAME ACADEMY" embroidered on her blue sweater bulged from her chest. Sheer white socks. A short pleated plaid skirt. She ended up sitting at the table in front of mine, where she was joined by her blonde-haired friend wearing the same plaid skirt. At one point she stretched out her smooth, taut legs, her skirt scandalously (and tantalizingly) short.
I wondered what kinds of things she likes to do after Mass.
In the film Exotica, one of the strip club’s performers (Mia Kirshner) appears on stage dressed as a Catholic schoolgirl—white shirt, tie, short plaid skirt, black stockings, black Mary Jane shoes. The club’s DJ introduces her as a “sassy bit of jailbait.” She seductively dances to Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows,” flashing her white panties beneath her skirt. To one patron she unbuttons her shirt and bares her breasts.
“What is it about a schoolgirl?”
Perhaps nothing fuels men’s fantasies more than a little plaid skirt.
The Catholic Girl’s Guide to Sex
“There is something powerfully erotic about Catholic schoolgirl uniforms,” Glenn O’Brien writes in a book of photographs of a young model clad (scantily) in such an outfit. According to one critic, “The plaid skirt of a Catholic school girl is an icon of flirtatious innocence, coupling as it does the generous exposure of toned, nubile flesh with the presumption of a pious virgin’s sexual purity. It is, frankly, the closest that organized religion has ever come to immanentizing the eschaton.” Another guy says, “The combination of their forbidden status and those sexy plaid-skirt uniforms is enough to give any man with a pulse an erection.” One former exotic dancer remembers, “By far the most requested look was the quintessential Catholic schoolgirl with the short plaid skirt and white top.” I’ve had sex with more than one escort wearing a plaid skirt.
One feminist scholar who once taught at an all-girls Catholic high school writes that her memories of her time there are comprised of “visions of girls in blue and white plaid skirts…the uniform selected out of the desire for girls to become scholars and stay virgins.” Not many of them stay virgins, of course. “I lost my virginity with a Catholic girl,” one writer attests of his teenage initiation into sex. “There is more sweat and desperation in their lovemaking than the public school girls.” Despite the prospect of incurring the penalty of mortal sin (“going all the way” means going to Hell), a Catholic girl will “spread her legs like the Red Sea” when she gets the chance. Chalk it up to sexual repression. For one former Catholic school student, sex education consisted of learning that “prayer is, in fact, every Catholic girl’s first line of defense against semen.” That was too much for the parents of one of her classmates, who enrolled her in an even stricter Catholic school. “That girl eventually went on to become an escort in Las Vegas,” she notes. (I will confirm that a disproportionate number of the call girls I’ve had the pleasure of knowing were raised Catholic.)
Lutheran Guilt 